The best part about love is when you can’t even really get mad at someone for doing annoying and silly things because you love them so much. It’s awesome and a little sickening. I’ve always thought people that felt this way were crazy.


Why I don’t feel sorry for you

We are the only ones who can change our present and our future. Not happy with your job? No one is going to come along and hand out an opportunity just for you. Not happy with your body? No one is going to come along and offer to be your free personal trainer or offer to pay for liposuction. You are stuck doing it on your own.

I used to do everything I could to help people because I felt it was my “calling” or whatever. Everyone needs a little help sometimes, a boost or just some motivating words, but I’m starting to realize that if after a little push they aren’t willing to do the rest for themselves – I’m really just wasting my time. It’s sad to become more cynical towards people but I’m not responsible for anyone’s future except my own. I can’t force anyone to get off their unemployed ass and create a resume and look for a job without them wanting to do it. So from now on I am only going to offer my time and support to people who already have it in their head to change their life.

So if you’re out there complaining about your awful job but you’re not doing anything to change your career path – I don’t feel sorry for you. If your friends are shitty and you’re not attempting to change your social circle – I don’t feel sorry for you. I just can’t do it anymore! Do something for yourself and you’ll earn respect from the people around you and then you will get support. I,personally, am done supporting laziness.

My thoughts on Robin Thicke, “rape culture”, Miley Cyrus and parenting. Whew!

This post was inspired by a local newspaper’s Facebook post/article this morning asking if Robin Thick was promoting “rape culture” with his lyrics and recent VMA performance. Rape Culture is described as: “a concept which links rape and sexual violence to the culture of a society, and in which prevalent attitudes and practices normalize, excuse, tolerate, or even condone rape.”

“At the heart of rape culture is a philosophy that dehumanizes women — from jokes to music videos to pornography to locker-room mentality. Rape culture does not mean every woman is raped, but rather upholds and encourages the forces that make such violence possible.”

– David Cook,  Don’t let Robin Thicke Escape

My first thought was: “GIVE ME A BREAK.” There are times as a woman that I’m offended by something degrading or dehumanizing and I understand what this article is trying to say. However… when it comes to entertainment, I am an adult who is capable of distinguishing lyrics from real life. It’s the same way I feel about violent movies, etc. It’s not going to turn me into a rapist, murderer or sway me to do anything just because I enjoy something that maybe not be polite or what people expect me to watch or listen to. Not only that but why is Robin Thicke being picked on? There are thousands upon thousands of artists who have far more degrading and even violent lyrics. Remember when Eminem talked about killing his wife? How many times do you hear the word “ho” or “bitch” in a rap song?

I feel this way: if it’s something that is effecting you negatively, cut it out of your life. If you don’t want to your kids to listen or watch, don’t let them. It’s that simple. Until someone goes out and rapes a woman and says, “Man, that Robin Thicke song and VMA performance just really made me want to rape that bitch,” move on to a subject worthy of spending over a week freaking out about.

A comment and view point that I do agree with was posted as a response to the article on the newspaper’s Facebook:

“What the columnist is trying to say is that the act of dehumanizing women is at the foundation of rape culture. I’m sure Robin Thicke doesn’t condone rape in any way, but people don’t realize that promoting this culture of what it means to be a “real man” is what leads to rape in the first place.”

And that brings me to Miley Cyrus and parenting. Why do these two go hand in hand for me? Because since Sunday’s show, I have heard comment after comment about why Miley Cyrus is a terrible role model and 4 billion other reasons for why she’s awful. Let me tell you why she’s awful:
1) She can’t dance and I’m not saying that because she has no ass to twerk. She literally has no rhythm.
2) She can’t really sing that well. =(
3) She’s wrapped up in the “I’m growing up in Hollywood” mentality just like Lindsay Lohan, Britney Spears, and a thousand other teens who have been there, done that.

Now…do I have a problem with her performance? Other than what I stated above and that she is really unattractive with her tongue hanging out, not at all! It was a typical VMA performance. Remember when Britney ripped off her suit down to the nude sparkly bodysuit and writhed around on stage? The VMAs are the place to be shocking because, after all, it’s still MTV.

And that brings me to parenting.

I don’t think that celebrities are required to be a role model to our children. They do their job for the same reason I do mine, to get paid – NOT to babysit. So I think it comes down to the parent explaining the difference between Hannah Montana and Miley Cyrus if they’re worried about role models. I think kids should have their childhood and remain innocent for as long as possible but it’s also important not to let them be ignorant of what is real in life and what isn’t.

We are fucked.

I feel like adults give today’s kids a lot of crap and granted, I agree with most of it but my experience with today’s adults really makes me realize that some of it is unfair. Most of the time adults say that kids don’t listen, can’t pay attention, don’t follow instructions…and that deems them inflicted with Attention Deficit Disorder! On the other hand some are considered lazy, careless and so involved in technology that we think they can’t effectively communicate any way other than text messages and social networking. Well, let me tell you something about today’s adults: they have the exact same problems.

The majority of my job is to give simple instructions to adults and I can honestly say that I have never seen so many people struggle with very, very simple instructions. Every single time, whether I’m telling someone how to fill out paperwork or if I’m giving directions to my office, I am constantly repeating myself. Adults don’t listen either. They’ve filled out paperwork before so they just ignore me completely and either end up filling out 10 times more information on the form than they have to or they ask me at least twice what they’re supposed to fill out. NO ONE LISTENS.

The instructions are (this is how I state them, word for word): Please fill out the contact information in the box. You don’t have to worry about the rest of the page, just the box at the top. 95% of people fill out the entire page…and sometimes the back!

How did we get to a place where we can’t follow simple instructions?

There’s Nothing Like Nashville

© J Arlene 2013

Yesterday was one of the hottest and most humid days in quite a while here in Chattanooga. Then, of course at the exact time that I was leaving work, Mother Nature decided to drop some serious water on the city. Lately, every time I’ve taken a trip to Nashville, my own city is under the attack of some terrible rain storm and Nashville is always bright and sunny. This is three times in a row now!

I’m nervous and scared to move to another city but I’m so excited! Come on, summer 2014!

What is Customer Service?

I think when most people think of customer service they think: the customer is always right and the Customer Service Representative must know this as a fact and treat the customer as such at all times.

I don’t agree and let me explain why. When I started working in retail at the age of 18, the above theory was my motto. I worked to serve the customer 100% with my time and energy. At that time, the job meant that the customer was always right and for the most part, they are and have to be. My first boss even told me that if a customer ever complained about me, I would not be questioned and instead they would always make right with the customer. 

These days, I don’t believe in this theory too much for certain Customer Service jobs. Currently, I am the Front Office Associate at a small office where I don’t have to worry much about “pleasing” the customers, only being friendly when booking appointments or taking their phone calls.

These are things that I believe to be true about today’s Customer Service:
1) I am here to serve you, but that does not mean that you can treat me like I’m insignificant. You will respect the authority that I do have over when can make an appointment.

2) I look young, but I’m not a child anymore. This means that I do not appreciate any comments you may feel like throwing my way regarding the way I “probably” live my life. I don’t party all night, I don’t live at home with my parents and I am capable of making life decisions without advice from strangers. This also means that you speak to me and respect me as adult no matter how old YOU are.

3) I will do anything to help you but I will not put up with attitude, being cursed at or being blamed for something I did not sell you, manufacture or have any responsibility for. The only responsibility I have for you is booking your appointment and making sure you fill out the correct paperwork. So let’s direct the blame to the correct party.

I am very fortunate to have a little backup. After spending an entire Monday getting yelled at and blamed, I found out today that my boss said something to the customer who gave me such a hard time. The fact that my direct boss acknowledged that you were rude to me says a lot about the company that I work for and I appreciate that!

So, the next time Customer Service doesn’t quite meet your standards maybe you should check your approach and attitude. There is terrible service out there – I have experienced plenty of it recently, trust me! However, a lot of representatives are merely responding to the bullshit from the customer that they have to deal with. Is that okay? Probably not but damn, let’s not make people cry over getting an appliance fixed or getting a cheaper price on something that’s already marked down. Because let’s face it, no one wants to work in Customer Service.

Goodbye’s too good a word

Today I gave social networking the axe. I’m tired of being worried about checking in, posting photos and tagging people everywhere I go. No one really cares besides the person who does all the tagging and worrying, right? And true, I could just not do it but why even have those profiles? Is it cool to earn badges and mayorships of place that I go way too much, yep. Is it necessary and relevant to my life, absolutely not. It’s time to get my head out of the clouds and focus on:

1) reading books. ( I did keep Goodreads. I have to.)

2) calling people, setting up meetings and focusing on the person that I went out of my way to schedule a meeting with instead of having my face in the phone.

3) taking real photos with my SLR instead of Instagram (who force crops everything).

4) enjoy not being so fucking connected or people I don’t even know.

I don’t know if this is considered “social networking” but I’m sure it is. As of now, I have no plans to delete either of my blogs. Facebook is a whole other story. It is active for now but my finger is itching to hit that deactivate link.

Redefining friendship

One of the loneliest feelings in the world is looking around you at the people you thought loved you and were your friends and realizing…there were just hanging out because they were in the same place at the same time that you were.

Those “friends” worked with you, ate with you, went out and did stupid things with you, laughed and sometimes cried until 3am with you. And now that things in your life have changed, so  have the people who used to be there for you.

So the mission begins all over again: developing new relationships with people with similar interests who can tolerate to be around you when you don’t make sense and do stupid things to embarrass them and yourself.

And where do you find those people? I found most of them through jobs that we both hated mutually and we established a connection based on that. Maybe that’s why things didn’t develop into true friendship in some cases.

I don’t really know where to start so I ask you: How do you go about making new friends?

Being healthy is boring.

Every few months I decide that someone out there in the world must care about what’s on my mind. Then I sit and stare at a blank box trying to figure out some way to make myself sound interesting. I don’t think I ever achieve this goal unless I’ve had a lot of coffee. Even then, what’s actually on my mind and what I feel comfortable posting for the world to see are two different things.

What I do feel comfortable sharing with you are the following things:

The last week has been hell. I’ve been stuck constantly juggling substances that are terrible for me. Before you get excited, I mean caffeine, nicotine and anti-inflamitories. I know, I live a wild life. My brain has been splitting open for a solid week now and there is no relief in sight. I forget how it even feels to have a normal day.

Why is it so hard to just drink water? While researching a few ways to decrease the chance of getting a migraine I read that the brain is 97% water! So what happens when we get dehydrated? The brain can’t function. That is certainly how I feel – dysdunctional.

On top of this, the boyfriend has made a pretty hardcore decisions to quit smoking after 15 years. Honestly, I love smoking. Sure, it makes your teeth yellow, makes you stink, rots your lungs and is just gross in general…but I enjoy it. I have unlimited options: patches, vapors, replacing cigarettes with candy (the only option that I like), but I don’t like any of them enough yet.

So I’m looking at replacing coffee with water and cigarettes with fresh air and I’m not happy about it one bit. I don’t even know where to get started. I did buy an expensive water bottle that filters water on the spot so I can fill up anywhere and have instantly clean water to drink! Yay. I also bought a bag of Jolly Ranchers to shut my oral fixation cravings up. So far, it’s not working.