Struggle is progress in disguise.

I’m feeling very run down and bored out of my mind lately. I changed so much in my life around in the last 2 months. As if that wasn’t enough, I made plans to do it even BIGGER next year!

I’m frustrated right now because my job is so mundane. I took the opportunity in front of me at the time and now it’s time to reach out for something else. I got some really, really great news about a new opportunity today that could make my move to Nashville so much easier. I’ll fill you in on the details when and if it becomes official. Cross your fingers for me, I feel like I’m crawling out of this hole very slowly.

This inspired me today.

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Fall smells like a fresh start

After working in some form of customer service or another since I was 18 (that’s 10 years, people), I am completely drained of empathy and compassion. I will be honest enough to admit that I barely listen to customers anymore. After so long, all the complaints are the same. “I’m unhappy and I’m going to make you unhappy while I demand for my money back and threaten you personally even though you didn’t manufacture this product.” It’s all the same…every day, in every place. I’m completely customer serviced out.

I don’t know how to get back to the person I was: the person who cared and willingly helped without cursing under her breath and wishing death upon all difficult customers. Once upon a time, I enjoyed solving problems and making people happy.

On my journey back to my happy self, my first step is to be less negative. That old quote, “If you don’t have anything nice to say, don’t say anything at all,” is way underrated. With a simple negative comment, a flood gate of negative thinking is sparked. I don’t want to take any part of bringing people down no matter how crappy I’m feeling. No one likes a Debbie Downer and no on enjoys being one, not really. I think that we lose track of just how miserable negative thinking can make us. It’s just a thought but it’s more than that: it represents how we think and it sets a tone for a few minutes or even a lifetime.

September:
For every negative thought or comment, I will find one positive one until the positive thoughts come first naturally.

I’ll leave you with one of the most simple and meaningful quotes that I love dearly:
I’ve learned that even when I have pains, I don’t have to be one.” – Maya Angelou

Seeing Red

I’ve always heard the term “red flag” but I’ve never really seen one as clearly as I did this weekend at a friend’s wedding. I’ll admit it – I’m a very naive person. I want to believe that almost everyone I meet is good and would never screw me over for personal gain. This is both a blessing and a curse because I give chance after chance to people and a lot of times, I end up sacrificing my life other people’s personal gain. It’s a character flaw but not the worst I can think of.

This weekend started out beautiful. I was under the impression that this couple had finally put all the hardships in their lives aside and chosen to move forward into a loving and honest relationship. I was wrong.  I’m going to apologize here because I am not going to get too personal. Regardless of what an amazing blog entry it would make, I need to respect that this is someone else’s story and I will not blast their relationship on the internet.

However.

After everything was said and done, I will say that I am positive that my friend is not only already in an emotionally abusive relationship but I’m pretty certain that it will eventually become physically abusive – if it hasn’t already.

No matter what you think about a relationship that you might be in, this is a great real about recognizing abusive behavior. Please take a minute or two to read through it.

http://www.wikihow.com/Recognize-a-Potentially-Abusive-Relationship

Learn to recognize serious red flags when you see them. If any event strikes you as wrong, it is! Our gut feelings and reactions are usually valid and foreboding. Please listen to what your gut tells you and never pass anything that you are uncomfortable or unhappy with off as something that will never happen again and something you can fix or change in a person. Your life and happiness could depend on it. And please never, ever keep your opinion to yourself. Screw thinking that your friend will be mad at you or won’t listen, at least you said something.

We can only help others if they are willing to help themselves. Get help here: http://www.thehotline.org/

My boyfriend is awesome and here’s why:

My boyfriend and I participated in the World’s Longest Yard Sale last weekend that stretches from Alabama to Michigan. And when I say participated I mean that my boyfriend cleaned out all of his unwanted and unused junk so we can start collecting together and have more space in our small apartment that we share with a dog, a cat and a roommate.  You can imagine how crowded our space is and how happy I was to see all that stuff go!

We rented a space to set up and sell at a community center for $15 for the day, set up and just soaked up the sun and enjoyed talking to people who stopped by. When we were all unpacked, I looked over and saw the most piece of furniture I’ve ever seen! It was as if someone had stacked GIANT, old, leather-bound books to make an end table/nightstand. Of course, I was gaga for it so I inquired about the price, touched it and lusted. I wasn’t completely sold because on the other side of our space was a Keurig that I desperately wanted too!

Later in the day, I went back over to look at the table and some other items and was told that unfortunately the table had already been sold. I was sad and figured that I just wasn’t supposed to own it. I came back to the boyfriend and told him about it. He looked me in the eye and said, “He sold it to me.”

So here it sits as my new nightstand and I am completely in love with it. The boyfriend did me right. =)

stand

I have to tell SOMEONE!

In the summer of 2009 I knew in my heart that I was moving to New Orleans. Nothing could stop me. I was going to dance to jazz music  and then run through the middle of Bourbon Street every night. I felt that New Orleans was where my heart and soul belonged.

In December 2009, I panicked. I couldn’t leave my new job, new friends and my family so I chose to stay in Tennessee. Granted, some wonderful things happened for me between that time and now but I know I made a mistake. The mistake wasn’t staying, it was making a decision based on everyone’s feelings and needs except for my own.

This time I’m not going to let that happen. I am moving to Nashville. I don’t know exactly when, but probably next summer. I don’t know what I’m going to do there but it has to be better than what I’m doing here…

5 things about me that I think are endearing but others may find weird or creepy:

1) I am very liberal and unafraid to tell anyone and everyone, “I love you.” I understand that this may catch people off guard but if you do something nice for me, I have love for you. That’s just the way it goes.

2) I sing to my cat. And I mean whole songs, not the Meow Mix song. (Even though I do that too.)

3) I will be the very first one to even consider thinking of something inappropriate to say at a funeral or any place where it is not appropriate to laugh. I do insist that the zombie joke at my grandfather’s funeral was a hoot!

4) I laugh at myself very loudly in public. I’m not scared. It’s really funny in my head sometimes.

5) If I’ve met you once, and maybe not even at all but we’ve had Facebook interaction, I will refer to you as “my friend.” It just sounds less weird than, “this person I met one time,” or “this guy that I’m stalking on Facebook.”